Randy Charles Morin blogs for the sake of blogging.
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Here's another joke support email. I found out that a potential advertiser tried to create an ad but BlogAds didn't work. I looked into it and it turns out that the BlogAds website barely works anymore. I sent them an email explaining that I would get more advertisers, if they could reduce the number of errors on their website. They responded...
Our site is best optimized in Firefox, so I would suggest using that browser.
Unfortunately, 70% of the planet uses Internet Explorer. And their website is not best viewed in Firefox, it's only viewed in Firefox, because it barely works in other browsers. BlogAds is likely losing tons of business for themselves and their publishers because they found religion and refuse to show their QA staff how to use Internet Explorer.
I always hear Mac users telling the world how much easier it is to use then a PC. When I ask what exactly is easier, I can never get a straight answer other than "It's SO COOL!" In my other life, I get emails like this all day.
i cannot use the report abuse buttons because i am a mac. user.
Is that it? Macs are easier to use because nothing actually works in a Mac, so what remains must be easier? What the user was referring to is the mailto hyperlink with a &subject= appendage. The worst part is that my code is full of IF SAFARI DONT ADD THIS FEATURE. About 5% of my users use the Mac. And yet most all of the bug reports are Safari specific. And don't be fooled. These aren't bugs in my code. These are feature unavailable in Safari that have been in IE and Firefox for years, sometimes a decade.
My 7-yr-old son is very interested in chess. He wants me to put it on his computer. So, I decided that I'd set him up with Yahoo! chess. I tried to create a Yahoo! account so that he could play chess. Yahoo! wanted me to enter a credit card number in order to setup an account for him. WTF? Fine, I'll go somewhere else.
Of late, I've been getting the stupidest support emails for Talk-Sports. Here's a sample. Like any good forum, the website has an automatic mechanism to block some posts based on keywords, posting frequency, IP address and membership level. This guy Harold sent me the following email.
for some reason i guess i was blocked from saying things on this page, well its my rights and its call freedom of speech. I already had to clear this up on Manny's page himself and i want to have my rights thanks for your time
I responded that my premium members don't get blocked and he might consider upgrading. I also mentioned that freedom of speech doesn't apply to MY website. After we exchanged a few emails, he decided to get his lawyer involved. The email from his lawyer contained typos, grammar errors, miscapitalizations, no line breaks, was from an AOL account, an ad footer and his own name was misspelled. Clearly written by someone with a post graduate education. If you are gonna fake an email from a lawyer, at least use a spellchecker.
The following is a paid review.
Check out this page. A place where you buy used macs; Power Mac G5, Power Mac Mini, Power Mac G4, Powerbook & iBook laptop Computers, iMac & eMac, Power Mac G3. They have a wide selection and you can save 50-75% on Mac equipment. They are advertising a pre-owned PowerMac G4 (400MHz Processor, 128MB Memory, 10GB Hard Drive) for $109 and a pre-owned PowerMac G5 (1.8GHz Processor, 512MB Memory, 80GB Hard Drive) for $699. They even have sections for Apple Parts; AC Power Adapters, Batteries, Floppy Drives, Hard Drives, Keyboards, Memory, Modems, Motherboards, Optical Drives, Power Cords & Cables, Power Supplies, Processor Cards, SCSI Cards, Stands, Video / Analog Boards, Video Cards, Zip & Jaz Drives. Don't forget to add the shipping cost before you make that decision to buy. They have a shipping cost estimator, so you can know the approximate final price before you click the Add to Cart button. Shipping to Toronto was $50 via Fedex ground and twice that for Fedex Express. I get a lot of Safari support requests, so I'm actually considering getting a cheep Mac that I can test my websites with. You can't really go that wrong for only $160. If you've previously purchased merchandise on this website, then please leave a comment detailing your experience.
Did you know there's a veggie pride parade? And no, I'm not. I think we need a hockey-nut pride parade.
What's the 1557 for I just pissed my pants?
How to get free food from McDonalds.
If you can't see the video, then go here.
http://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-get-a-free-meal-at-McDonalds-4186
Sorry for the emptiness. Been busy. I promise to change that.
PokerStars is a complete joke. The hands are not delt randomly, but rather strategically. I usually play other poker rooms because I realized this long ago. Today, I think I proved it. After a long absense, I started playing PokerStars again about 2 days ago. I play big tournaments with 45 players. The first 3 tournaments, I was winning 2 or 3 showdowns in the entire tournament and rarely getting a pair, never mind a set, straight or flush. I'd usually finish in the top two tables, sometimes the last table. Today, I was on the last table and had to leave. I decided to go all-in every hand and hope I can eliminate a couple players before I go broke. I won about 19 of the next 20 hands and the tournament. It seems, if you play completely stupid poker, you will get the cards in PokerStars. I think it's a behavioral algorithm to encourage bad players to convert to real money tables. What a joke!
SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store
but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said.
The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, ' Low Bridge Ahead.'
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
She says 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
Sometimes, I get my best laughs when I'm answering end-user support questions. Today, I got a series of emails from an end-user who was either inebriated or just plain stupid.
- At 1:22, I got an email asking how much was the membership and if it had such a privilege.
- At 1:37, before I answered their questions, I got a PayPal membership payment from this person.
- At 7:59, I fired off an email instructing them to create a password.
- At 8:17, they responded to my instructional email that they cannot login.
- At 8:26, I respond that they have to create a password first.
- At 8:39, they respond that after creating the password, they were forward to a particular webpage, but that they wanted to go to another webpage.
- At 8:43, I respond that they could go to that webpage by clicking on the link.
- At 8:51, they respond "Why am I asking the same question over and over?"
- At 9:02, I considered answering their question with "Because you are blond", but resisted.
First as an Apple commercial and now as a music video, I love this song. Apple can pick 'em.
My friend Jason Schramm informed me yesterday that Amazon is trying to strong-arm his kindlereport.com website from him. WTF? These BigCo's need to find out that we aren't putting up with their shit no more. Jason was using this website to promote Amazon's product. I've decided that until Amazon apologizes, I'm no longer adding new Amazon product links to any of my dozen+ websites. I'm also gonna remove all links from the existing sites as new versions are released. I'm also asking everybody to reblog this shit and tell Amazon to stick it where the sun don't shine. If we work together and affect Amazon's bottom line, then BigCo's will think twice in the future.
http://www.kindlereport.com/news/amazon-tries-to-strong-arm-kindle-news-sites.html
Dave Winer says "More people live in California than live in Canada. 1/3 of the people are Hispanic." I disagree. Most people in California exists, but don't live.
Two weeks ago, I complained about NHL 2K8. A reader mentioned that NHL 08 is better. I've been playing this new title for a week and it's much better. But it's only been a week, so things may change. I really liked the 29 game season option. I'm 3-2 in my first 5 game on medium difficulty. Wish me luck!
http://www.rumorstore.com/shopping.aspx/B000REZ84C
http://www.rumorstore.com/shopping.aspx/B000QAVV5C
Here's some good business practices from Shell. Tell the police that your best customers are not paying for their gas, even though you did pay. Today, the police called about stealing gas from Shell. The Shell gas station that I go to about 100 times per year, reported that I didn't pay for gas on January 28th. When I told the police I gassed up the 25th, the police called back the gas station and they changed their story that I stole the gas on the 25th. Well I had a receipt saying I paid. WTF? The police told me to go to the gas station and show them the receipt. When I got the gas station, they refused to even look at the receipt and called the cops to pursuit the matter further. WTF? The police dropped the incident, since I had a receipt. I've since called Shell customer service and they still think I'm the bad guy, although they've now dropped the incident also. No apology. I'm still the bad guy even though they admit I paid for the gas. So, after years of going to Shell almost exclusively 100 times per year, I will never go again. Awesome customer service. How do these idiots stay in business?
There's been a joke going around about an Australian defining a Canadian. In the joke, it states "The root of that prosperity can be found in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms which recognize the right of each person to the pursuit of happiness." Huh? That's the Declaration of Independence (U.S.A.). I wonder if this Australian has ever read the Charter?
http://laws.justice.gc.ca/en/charter/
Further, the joke states there are more Muslims in Canada than Afghanistan. Canada and Afghanistan have approximately the same population and 99% of Afghanistan is Muslim. It's amazing what people will believe.
Let me re-iterate Australia's Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade warning about Canada. It's not safe for Australians. The ice is very slippery. Twice this week, on my backyard icerink, I slipped and jammed by wrist. Don't take this warming lightly or risk jamming your own wrists. Credit Scott.
http://www.thestar.com/News/article/297431
http://www.kbcafe.com/rvdad/?guid=20080123202934
I didn't even know there was a Batman movie coming out until the actor who played the Joke died (via Jason). It looks great!